The Connection Keeps Us Going

I had my one and only mental meltdown in an Erie, Pennsylvania gas station parking lot. I’ll get into the details of that later, but the short version is that I wanted to just lie down on the pavement and not get up. Ever. But as we know, I am not still lying prone in a corner of a gas station. Though it took over two hours to muster it up, I did finally stand up, pull on my gloves, and pull on my helmet.

I stood, straddling the Vespa, letting it run stationary beneath me. I focused my mind away from the way I was feeling, away from the loneliness, away from the frustrations. I forced myself to focus on the noise and commotion surrounding me, to focus back on the ride. And as my attention focused on everything going on around me, everything going on inside of me began to recede.

I maneuvered slowly through the parking lot and pulled out into the road. I leaned into the left turn and my connection with the Vespa took hold. I felt the revolutions of the engine build, the gears shift. This is what endures.


Combatscoot said...

If it weren't for being able to ride, I think I would not be sane right now. Something about getting on the bike and taking-off down the road with the wind all around me flushes away all the mental fuzz that hangs-on after a panic attack. It all goes away instantly.

Steve Williams said...

John's right about what riding can do. I seek out the Vespa as a way to clear away fog, stress, and anxiety. It allows me to bring my spirit back into my body or something.

I hadn't looked at your site in awhile. Glad to see your adventures continuing and your photography is inspiring.

Steve Williams
Scooter in the Sticks

Unknown said...

Your blog was the first blog I read and I always looked for it as inspiration for the writing and the photography. I have discovered through the interest generated by yours, other great blogs, like Steve's Scooter in the Sticks, but always check to see if you had any new postings.

Hope you start blogging again soon to keep us up on your riding and personal reflections.

I never thought about blogging myself, but it's hard not to toy with the idea after reading such interesting and insightful blogs. I've been riding a Vespa GT200 since October 2006 in Northern New Jersey and loving every minute of it.

ohchicken said...

belated comment, but i just wanted to say that i am loving this blog and dailycoyote as well. (arrived via dooce...)

as a girl who grew up in erie, pa, i understand the overwhelming temptation to lie down on the pavement and not get up...

happynomad said...

I stumbled upon your blog this evening and I'm completely mesmerized! I couldn't help but leave a comment here since I currently live in Erie, PA. I grew up in the middle of Western Washington State, moved after college. Erie is still not home, even after 7 years, and it is pretty much the black hole of the universe!! Anyhow, I adore your pictures and stories, thanks so much for sharing them :)